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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

This page may contain spoilers for the show, please proceed to read with caution.
Due to sharing a name with his character, Charlie Day will be referred to as "Day," while his character is referred to as "Charlie" on this page.

Network: FXX
Rating: TV-MA
Number of seasons: 14 out; renewed for 18 total
Also Starring: Rob McElhenney, Glenn Howerton, Kailtin Olson, Danny DeVito
Charlie's Role: Charlie Kelly; creator/producer/writer

About It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Five friends with big egos and small brains are the proprietors of an Irish pub in Philadelphia.


About Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly is the janitor of Paddy's Pub in Philadelphia, PA. He was originally one of the owners, but sold off his shares to his friends. Charlie thinks himself to be a hopeless romantic for a woman he and his friends know only as "The Waitress," but he stalks her to extreme measures and she does not reciprocate the feelings.

He lives in squalor in a one-room apartment with Frank Reynolds, the man Charlie believes could be his father, despite Frank's denials. The two men share a bed and eat cat food in order to fall asleep. Some nights, they play a game called "Night Crawlers," an imagination-based game.

Like the rest of the gang, Charlie is an alcoholic.

Charlie is illiterate, not being able to read well, or write things correctly.

As the janitor of Paddy's Pub, Charlie's job consists of cleaning toilets, killing rats, and making sure the bar is up to code when the health inspector comes.


Notable Charlie Quotes

  • "Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man. A man called God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha!" (2x07)
  • "Look at that door, dude. See that door right there? The one marked 'pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?" (3x06)
  • "'Just get a job?' Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon, and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?!" (3x07)
  • "Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us... those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!" (4x01)
  • "That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? Pepe Silvia, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia, I look in the mail, this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself I gotta find this guy. I gotta go up to his office, I gotta put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise he's never gonna get it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac, what do I find out? There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Pepe Silvia, you gotta be kidding me, I got boxes full of Pepe! All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in H.R. and I knock on her door and I say, 'Caaarol, Caaarol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe!' And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Carol in H.R. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town." (4x10)
  • "I am going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces." (4x13)
  • "Hello, Charlie Kelly here, local business owner and cat enthusiast. Is your cat making too much noise all the time? Is your cat constantly stomping around driving you crazy? Is your cat clawing at your furniture? Think there's no answer? You're so stupid! There is! Kitten Mittons. Finally, there is an elegant, comfortable mitten for cats... I couldn't hear anything! Is your cat one-legged? Is your cat fat, skinny, or an in-between? That doesn't matter! Cause one size fits all! Kitten Mittons! You'll be smitten! So come on down to Paddy's Pub. We're the home of the original Kitten Mittons. Meeeeeeeeeeowwwww!" (5x08)
  • "Cats do not abide by the laws of nature." (5x09)
  • "What is this word 'spa'? I feel like you're starting to say a word and you're not finishing it. Are you trying to say spaghetti? Are you taking me for a spaghetti day?" (6x10)
  • "I was using you. That's why I kissed you in front of the Waitress, that's why I banged you a bunch of times, just to make the Waitress jealous. Amazing, you slept with me almost instantly. And by the way, a quality woman doesn't do that, she doesn't say 'yes' right away. She says 'no' to a man. For years. Like ten years. That's what a real woman does. Okay, you know what you're acting like? A stupid, little, rich slut. And that's all that you are." (8x04)
  • "A simple pill, ingested by a man who received a simple idea, a simple thought, so clear and sharp that it cut through his mind like a soft cheese and led him to an invention. Every now and then, there are new modalities, new ways, of being and understanding our world. This invention, my invention, will change everything. For the better? One hopes. But the good of the scorpion is not the good of the frog, yes? You must excuse me, I've grown quite weary. Finally, my friends, at long last, the day has come. We have the means, the understanding, the technology, to allow spiders to talk with cats!" (9x08)
  • "Now, there was another member of the McPoyle family clan at the wedding the night of the 'incident.' A member that none of us have met, certainly not anyone on this side of the aisle. A one Mr. Royal McPoyle. A bird. The McPoyle family's pet Pocono swallow. And my research shows that this particular Pocono swallow has a history of violence. Look into the gallery and you will see Royal's victims. It took Margaret's vocal chords in 1999, leaving her mute. Keith McPoyle lost his eyes and his ears to it in '76. And we all know, that according to bird law, it's three strikes, and you're out! Bye, bye, birdie. Ready, boys and girls? Because here's where it gets good. Ryan McPoyle didn't attack Liam. Royal did. And Lion was lying about Ryan attacking Liam to protect Royal from the chair, or lethal injection, or perhaps some sort of small bird guillotine. I wouldn't understand the physics of it. I'm not an executioner. I'm the best goddamn bird lawyer in the world." (11x07)
  • "I was raised by a single mother, you know? And we were always on the go, and sometimes we'd be at like a museum or, you know, a stadium, and I'd have to go to the bathroom, and my mom wasn't gonna put me in the men's room by myself, so she carried around a dress with her. She would slip it on and I would go in and out of the women's bathroom and no one would notice, and then, you know, as the years went by, I just got more comfortable pooping with a dress, so whatever, it's not that weird." (13x06)
  • "I'm pretty sure Dennis has candy. I heard it crinkle in his pocket, that sounded like the wrapper of a candy. I gave Mac a look to let him know that I figured out Dennis has candy. Hopefully, if we nail this plan, he'll give us some candy. I want that candy." (14x03)

Trivia & Fun Facts

About the show:

  • The original pilot was a version of the episode "Charlie Has Cancer," which Day, McElhenney, and Howerton filmed on their own with whatever they had and basically no money. There are rumors that they filmed the pilot for $200, but the guys denied the numbers.
  • The original title of the show was It's Always Sunny on TV and was going to be about four struggling actors looking to make it big.
  • The show was going to be cancelled after its first season if they didn't have a big name sign on for season two. Danny DeVito joined the show because his children were fans.
  • The show wasn't filmed in true high definition until season 6. Season 5 and "A Very Sunny Christmas" were up-converted for their Blu-Ray releases.
  • "A Very Sunny Christmas" was released on DVD/Blu-Ray on November 17, 2009, more than a whole year before it aired on TV on December 16, 2010 as part of season 6.
  • The flashback scenes in the episode "How Mac Got Fat" was originally filmed as a different episode for season 6, but was scrapped and later reworked for season 7.
  • Day is only one of two actors, the other being Rob McElhenney, to appear in every single episode.
  • During its run since 2005, no new episodes were released in 2014 and 2020.
  • Though the show is a sitcom by definition, it is oftentimes referred to as an "Anti-Sitcom."
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the longest-running live-action scripted comedy series.

About his character, Charlie Kelly:

  • Charlie survived an abortion. His mother went to a back-alley place to abort him, but it didn't take, and he came out three months later.
  • Despite attending a Catholic school with Mac when they were kids, Charlie is shown to have atheist/agnostic views, arguing about religion with Mac at points.
  • In a scene in 2x10, Charlie can be seen tattooing his arm. He writes "BADNEW," and the writing can be seen on his arm throughout the show since.
  • Charlie has perfect pitch and can play a number of instruments, such as the piano (keyboard), harmonica, and saxophone.
  • Charlie's favorite food is "milk steak," his favorite hobby is "magnets," and he likes ghouls.
  • Unlike the rest of the gang, Charlie is shown to have a general lack of interest in sex, leading to fan theories that Charlie is asexual. In a deleted scene from season 5, Charlie tells Mac of his disgust of sex.
  • In the show, "Charlie Day" was a day during which the rest of the gang needed to do whatever it was Charlie wanted, which was hunt for ghouls for ten hours straight.
  • In seasons 13 and 14, Charlie has made comments alluding to being non-binary. (13x06 "The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem" and 14x09 "A Woman's Right to Chop")

About the episodes

  • The Gang Gets Racist
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 4, 2005

    The guys hire Dee's friend as a promoter for the bar and get more than they bargained for. Charlie seeks black friends to prove he isn't a racist.

  • Charlie Wants an Abortion
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 11, 2005

    In this take on the abortion debate Dennis and Mac go to opposite sides of an abortion rally to pick up women while Charlie deals with an unruly kid he believes to be his son.

  • Underage Drinking: A National Concern
    Story by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 18, 2005

    The gang turns Paddy's into a safe haven for teens, but things get weird when they all get asked to the local high school prom.

  • Charlie Has Cancer
    Written by: Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 25, 2005

    When Charlie confidentially confides that he has cancer, it leads to a series of instances of the guys manipulating women and one gorgeous transsexual.

  • Gun Fever
    Story by: Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 1, 2005

    When Paddy's gets robbed, the gang decides to purchase a gun with many issues. At the same time Dee is dating a mysterious man which the gang suspects to be the robber.

  • The Gang Finds a Dead Guy
    Story by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 8, 2005

    A guy dies in Paddy's pub. Dennis and Mac use the guy's death as an excuse to get close to the guy's attractive granddaughter. Meanwhile, Charlie discovers that Dennis and Dee's grandfather was a Nazi.

  • Charlie Got Molested
    Story by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 15, 2005

    The gang learns that Charlie's former elementary school teacher is on trial for child molestation and they attempt to stage an intervention to get Charlie to admit that he was.

  • Charlie Gets Crippled
    Story by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: June 29, 2006

    The gang discovers the perks of being handicapped when Charlie becomes wheel-chair bound after an accident. Dennis and Dee's estranged father returns.

  • The Gang Goes Jihad
    Story by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: June 29, 2006

    When half of Paddy's gets bought out by a business developer, the gang seeks revenge. Unfortunately, an ill-timed dog-napping plot, a poorly made video tape, and a flaming bag of poop threaten the gang's chances of getting their property back.

  • Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare
    Story by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: July 6, 2006

    Dennis and Dee quit their jobs and concoct a plan to get welfare benefits so they can pursue their unrealistic goals and dreams.

  • Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton
    Original Air Date: July 6, 2006

    Tensions run high in the gang when Mac courts Dennis and Dee's mom and the two organize a stakeout to blackmail Frank and get out of "Charlie work".

  • Hundred Dollar Baby
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: July 13, 2006

    Inspired by the movie Million Dollar Baby, Frank teaches Dee to inflict punishment while Dennis and Mac teach Charlie to take punishment. But both fighting careers are derailed by the use of "performance enhancing supplements."

  • The Gang Gives Back
    Written by: Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: July 20, 2006

    After being arrested for arson, Charlie is sentenced to community service and required to attend AA. Here he makes a discovery that could assist him in his ongoing effort to connect with the Waitress.

  • The Gang Exploits a Miracle
    Written by: Charlie Day & Eric Falconer & Chris Romano
    Original Air Date: July 27, 2006

    Frank tries to cavort the holy crowd when Mac discovers a water stain on Paddy's wall that closely resembles the Virgin Mary.

  • The Gang Runs for Office
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: August 3, 2006

    The gang discovers that if you run for office, people will pay you to quit. So of course, the gang exploits this and Dennis runs for office. At the same time Frank and Charlie try to stop this, which ends up in a feud.

  • Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 10, 2006

    To prove their patriotism, Charlie and Dee try to upstage the local anti-smoking group, while Dennis and Mac turn Paddy's into a bastion of true freedom. But when Frank takes things too far, Paddy's is populated with creeps and lowlifes, and the gang decides they want to live under a totalitarian state.

  • Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad
    Story by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: August 17, 2006

    When Dennis and Dee discover their mother has lied to them about Frank being their dad, they get to know their real father. Meanwhile, Mac and Charlie attempt to impress Mac's imprisoned father by becoming hardened criminals.

  • The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 13, 2007

    Mac and Dee decide to raise a baby they find in the dumpster. Dennis talks some trash while going green and befriending radical environmentalist groups, while Charlie and Frank go dumpster-diving.

  • The Gang Gets Invincible
    Written by: Charlie Day & David Hornsby & Glenn Howerton
    Original Air Date: September 13, 2007

    Dennis, Mac, and Dee take part in the Philadelphia Eagles' open tryouts, while Frank drops acid and freaks out when he and Charlie tailgate next to the McPoyles.

  • Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead
    Written by: David Hornsby & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 20, 2007

    After Dennis and Dee's gold-digging mother dies from a botched plastic-surgery operation, Dee and Frank scheme to get their name in the will, while Dennis inherits the house and makes plans for a party mansion.

  • The Gang Gets Held Hostage
    Story by: Lisa Parsons / Teleplay by: Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 20, 2007

    The McPoyle brothers and sister Margaret take the gang hostage at Paddy's, raising the stakes to a new level in the feud between the two groups.

  • The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton
    Original Air Date: September 27, 2007

    Dee discovers that the biggest loser and fatty from high school is now a successful and thin fashion designer... now making Dee the biggest loser.

  • The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation
    Written by: Charlie Day & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: September 27, 2007

    As they prepare for the annual Pub Crawl, the gang is horrified to learn that they face competition from a new Korean bar.

  • The Gang Sells Out
    Written by: Charlie Day & David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

    A corporate chain offers to buy the Paddy's Pub, leaving Dee and Charlie unemployed and forcing them to find jobs at another restaurant, where they abuse their positions and take advantage of the manager, who is Dee's friend.

  • Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire
    Story by: Rob McElhenney / Teleplay by : Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

    In their quest to become famous, Frank, Charlie, and Mac, search for newsworthy footage to air on public access.

  • Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person
    Story by : Glenn Howerton / Teleplay by : Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 11, 2007

    While Dennis and Dee try to figure out if the rapper Dee is dating has a mental handicap or not, Charlie, Mac, and Frank try to start their own band without knowledge of how to play musical instruments.

  • Mac Is a Serial Killer
    Story by : Charlie Day / Teleplay by : David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 18, 2007

    After reading that a serial killer is on the loose, the gang notices that Mac is acting shady and decides to find out if he's the man behind the murders.

  • Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender
    Written by: Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 25, 2007

    Dennis is angry because he's being mistaken for a fat guy rather than the sex offender who moved next door to Charlie. Meanwhile, Mac's father is released from prison and he and Mac have some catching up to do.

  • The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 1, 2007

    When the gang finds themselves in debt to the mob after a misunderstanding over a set of speakers and a stash of cocaine, Dennis is forced to pimp himself as a male escort to save the gang from getting whacked.

  • The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 2)
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 1, 2007

    When the gang finds themselves in debt to the mob after a misunderstanding over a set of speakers and a stash of cocaine, Dennis is forced to pimp himself as a male escort to save the gang from getting whacked.

  • Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City
    Written by: Charlie Day & David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: November 8, 2007

    Dee and Mac become Guardian Angels and clean up the streets when a bum starts using the alley behind the bar to masturbate. Meanwhile, Dennis, Charlie, and Frank impersonate police officers in order to get preferential treatment.

  • The Gang Dances Their Asses Off
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 15, 2007

    After Charlie accidentally puts Paddy's Pub up for 1st prize in a local dance competition, Frank makes the gang participate in the contest. Here, they form alliances and try to cheat the other contestants, as well as themselves, out of first place.

  • Mac and Dennis: Manhunters
    Written by: Charlie Day & Jordan Young & Elijah Aron
    Original Air Date: September 18, 2008

    Mac and Dennis pursue the ultimate high of hunting another man by stalking Rickety Cricket, while Dee and Charlie become obsessed with eating human flesh after they come to believe Frank has fed some of it to them.

  • The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
    Written by: Charlie Day & Sonny Lee & Patrick Walsh
    Original Air Date: September 18, 2008

    While Mac, Dennis, and Charlie use their classic setup to sell gallons of gasoline door to door, Frank subjects Dee to a series of torture and mind games when he suspects that Dee is trying to kill him while the two plot to steal their inheritance from Bruce Mathis.

  • America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney & Adam Stein
    Original Air Date: September 25, 2008

    After buying a billboard, Frank subjects Dennis to a series of humiliating tests in a competition to get on the billboard, while Mac tries to find female subjects willing to go through his own version of a reality show, of sorts.

  • Mac's Banging the Waitress
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: September 25, 2008

    Charlie manipulates Mac and Dennis when he accuses the two of them with sleeping with the coffee shop waitress.

  • Mac and Charlie Die (Part 1)
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 2, 2008

    After Mac's father is released from prison, Mac and Charlie stage their own deaths to save their lives.

  • Mac and Charlie Die (Part 2)
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 2, 2008

    After Mac and Charlie fake their own deaths, the rest of the gang finds unique ways of dealing with the loss.

  • Who Pooped the Bed?
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 9, 2008

    Frank and Charlie find someone has pooped in their bed, leading Mac and Dennis to join them as they attempt to find the culprit.

  • Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell & David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 16, 2008

    The gang kidnaps the writer of a review claiming that Paddy's is the worst bar in Philadelphia and tries to force him to change his mind. But things get worse when Dennis and Dee accidentally kidnap the writer's neighbor.

  • Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 23, 2008

    While Frank and Mac come up with ways to spice up Dennis' erotic memoir, Dee finds that spending time in Charlie's shoes is way more difficult than it seems, and vice-versa.

  • Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 30, 2008

    After Dee suffers a heart attack, she and Dennis try a healthier lifestyle. Charlie and Mac join the corporate work force to get health insurance.

  • The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Glenn Howerton & David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: November 6, 2008

    In order to get Paddy's recognized by the city as a historical landmark, Mac, Dennis, and Charlie flash back to 1776 to tell the tale of the Paddy's crew's involvement in the cracking of the Liberty Bell.

  • The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition
    Written by: Charlie Day & David Hornsby & Glenn Howerton
    Original Air Date: November 13, 2008

    While trying to make their own dreams come true, the gang decides to pay it forward to an unlucky family living in the city only to have their plans backfire on them.

  • The Nightman Cometh
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Glenn Howerton & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: November 20, 2008

    Charlie stages a rock opera based on his song "Nightman," and recruits the rest of the gang to help him with it.

  • The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis
    Written by: Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff
    Original Air Date: September 17, 2009

    While Frank buys a foreclosed house with intentions of selling it for profit, Mac and Dennis become hot-headed real estate brokers, and Dee takes advantage of a suburban couple looking to hire a surrogate mother.

  • The Gang Hits the Road
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: September 24, 2009

    The gang takes Dee's new subcompact car and a U-haul on the road with the intentions of hitting the Grand Canyon, and Charlie attempts to expand his horizons.

  • The Great Recession
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 1, 2009

    Mac and Dennis try to cut back Paddy's expenses by firing Dee and Charlie, and Frank figures out a clever way to keep the bar afloat.

  • The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 8, 2009

    After Frank embarrasses himself at the funeral of a deceased relative, Dennis and Dee decide that it's finally time to give him an intervention for his reckless lifestyle.

  • The Waitress Is Getting Married
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: October 15, 2009

    Dee discovers that the waitress Charlie is obsessed with is getting married to her ex-boyfriend and plots to derail the wedding, while Mac, Frank and Dennis try to get Charlie back on the dating scene.

  • The World Series Defense
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 22, 2009

    Fighting a series of traffic tickets, Dennis, along with the rest of the gang, tell the judge about their horrific experiences at Game 5 of the Phillies' world series.

  • The Gang Wrestles for the Troops
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 29, 2009

    The gang decides to put on a wrestling show for troops returning home while Dee courts a soldier who doesn't seem like the person she's chatting online with.

  • Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens
    Written by: Sonny Lee & Patrick Walsh
    Original Air Date: November 5, 2009

    The gang attempts to create a merchandising angle for Paddy's when a convention comes to Philly.

  • Mac and Dennis Break Up
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 12, 2009

    Taking Dee's advice seriously, Mac and Dennis decide that they're too co-dependent on each other and need to spend time apart. Meanwhile Charlie and Frank help Dee out with a major cat problem in her apartment.

  • The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 19, 2009

    Dennis presents his fool-proof plan for picking up chicks, but soon finds that the gang each has their own fool-proof plans for one-upping each other.

  • Mac and Charlie Write a Movie
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: December 3, 2009

    After Dee gets cast as an extra in the new M. Night Shyamalan movie, Mac and Charlie see a perfect opportunity to pitch their script, while Frank becomes a casting agent for Dennis.

  • The Gang Reignites the Rivalry
    Written by: Dave Chernin & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: December 10, 2009

    Mac, Dennis, and Charlie seek revenge on another bar after their 10-year ban in a local flip-cup tournament is lifted, but find they need serious practice. Dee discovers new skills, and Frank wears tight pants.

  • Mac Fights Gay Marriage
    Written by: Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff
    Original Air Date: September 16, 2010

    Mac pulls out the big guns to protect the sanctity of marriage, while the rest of the gang reap the rewards of marital bliss.

  • Dennis Gets Divorced
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: September 23, 2010

    Marital bliss turns to marital business, as the gang experiences the emotional and economic tribulations of divorce.

  • The Gang Buys a Boat
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 30, 2010

    The gang attempts to open themselves up to the adventures of the sea after they purchase their 'new' boat.

  • Mac's Big Break
    Written by: Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 7, 2010

    After Mac wins a radio contest to score a goal on the Flyers' ice, he and Charlie train for the event - badly, while Dennis and Dee start their own radio program.

  • Mac and Charlie: White Trash
    Written by: Luvh Rakhe
    Original Air Date: October 14, 2010

    Mac & Charlie attempt to fix up their old pool after getting rejected by a country club, Dennis, Dee, and Frank attempt to gain entry to the club.

  • Mac's Mom Burns Her House Down
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: October 21, 2010

    Charlie and Mac set-up a truly odd couple after Mac's Mom burns the house down, while Frank discovers the importance of paternal care when Dee falls ill.

  • Who Got Dee Pregnant?
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 28, 2010

    The gang gets a real 'scare' after Dee reveals she's pregnant, forcing the guys to recall their last hazy Halloween Party to determine if one of them might be the father.

  • The Gang Gets a New Member
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: November 4, 2010

    A blast from the past prompts the guys to expand membership, and Dee to re-consider her future.

  • Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: November 11, 2010

    Motivated by the drama teacher who inspired her, Dee takes a job as a substitute teacher and exposes her students to the culture of Paddy's with a field trip to see the Gang's take on the Lethal Weapon series: Lethal Weapon 5.

  • Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 18, 2010

    When keeping the basement rodent-free drives Charlie to the brink, the gang decides to put the cynicism aside and throw a surprise party to cheer him up.

  • The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods
    Story by : Luvh Rakhe / Teleplay by : Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: December 2, 2010

    Things go awry as the Gang travels to Atlantic City for a charity benefit. While Frank, Dee and Mac try to survive in the woods, Dennis and Charlie hitch a ride to the city and have the night of their lives.

  • Dee Gives Birth
    Written by: David Hornsby & Becky Mann & Audra Sielaff
    Original Air Date: December 9, 2010

    Before Dee's baby arrives, The Gang tries to figure out who is the father by throwing a house party for all her former flings.

  • A Very Sunny Christmas
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Release Date: November 17, 2009 on DVD / Blu-Ray
    Original Air Date: December 16, 2010

    Dennis and Dee decide to teach Frank a lesson A Christmas Carol-style, and Mac and Charlie learn some shocking things about their childhood Christmas traditions.

  • Frank's Pretty Woman
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: September 15, 2011

    When Frank decides to marry a prostitute, the gang tries to uncover her heart of gold.

  • The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: September 22, 2011

    Dennis and Dee take the gang to their favorite childhood vacation spot, but things aren't quite how they remembered them.

  • Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: September 29, 2011

    The gang hosts a child beauty pageant at the bar.

  • Sweet Dee Gets Audited
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Glenn Howerton & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: October 6, 2011

    Dee faces an IRS audit over her claim that the baby she carried as a surrogate is her dependent, while the guys decide to run the bar in an unemotional, democratic manner rather than their typical method of shouting and personal attacks.

  • Frank's Brother
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 13, 2011

    When Frank's long lost brother Gino shows up at the bar, the two of them tell the gang about the jazz club they ran in the 1960s and 70s, and how they fell out over Shadynasty, a singer who was the love of both of their lives.

  • The Storm of the Century
    Written by: Charles W. Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 20, 2011

    As a hurricane threatens Philadelphia, Mac, Dennis and Charlie go to a mall to buy supplies and check out the large breasted TV reporter broadcasting from there, while Frank and Dee prepare Paddy's, and its basement bunker, for the storm.

  • Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games
    Written by: Charlie Day & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 27, 2011

    On a day of ultimate boredom and listlessness, the gang breaks out a homemade board game, created by Mac, Dee, Charlie, and Dennis.

  • The ANTI-Social Network
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton
    Original Air Date: November 3, 2011

    The gang's plan to use Facebook to promote Paddy's goes awry when they become obsessed with tracking down a man who shushed them while they were visiting a trendy new club.

  • The Gang Gets Trapped
    Written by: Luvh Rakhe
    Original Air Date: November 10, 2011

    Inspired by Indiana Jones, Dennis, Dee, and Frank sneak into a house supposed to contain a rare vase, but become trapped when the owners return home early.

  • How Mac Got Fat
    Written by: Scott Marder & Mehar Sethi
    Original Air Date: November 17, 2011

    During confession, Mac tells a priest how Paddy's sudden spell of success resulted in him becoming fat, and why the rest of the gang is to blame.

  • Thunder Gun Express
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: December 1, 2011

    A presidential visit to Philadelphia threatens to keep the gang from seeing a new action movie, leaving Dennis stuck in traffic, Frank stealing a boat, and Dee and Charlie prowling the city's sewers.

  • The High School Reunion
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: December 8, 2011

    The gang attends their high school reunion, at which Dee manages to ingratiate herself with the popular crowd, Charlie and Mac get picked on, and Dennis is ignored by everyone.

  • The High School Reunion Part 2: The Gang's Revenge
    Written by: Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: December 15, 2011

    Humiliated by the popular crowd at their high school reunion, the gang attempts to gain revenge, with predictably disastrous results.

  • Pop-Pop: The Final Solution
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 11, 2012

    Dennis and Dee's Nazi grandfather is wasting away in a hospital, and it's their choice whether to pull the plug or not. Meanwhile, Charlie and Mac go crazy trying to find a dog painting they think has a lot of value.

  • The Gang Recycles Their Trash
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 18, 2012

    While the city of Philadelphia's garbage men are on strike, Dennis, Mac, and Charlie decide to start a trash pick up business. And while being a big success, they must find out where to put this newly picked up trash.

  • The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 25, 2012

    When the gang gets questioned on the massacre that happened at the McPoyle wedding, it seems they all have their own story. Which might not all be the same.

  • Charlie and Dee Find Love
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: November 1, 2012

    After invading the world of the wealthy, Charlie and Dee find romance. Not to be left out, Dennis, Frank and Mac try to get in on the action.

  • The Gang Gets Analyzed
    Written by: Luvh Rakhe
    Original Air Date: November 8, 2012

    When Dee gets asked by her therapist to bring in her so called 'issues,' Dee brings in the whole gang. And since they have all been called in, they have their own one on one therapy sessions, while many issues arise.

  • Charlie's Mom Has Cancer
    Written by: Scott Marder & Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 15, 2012

    Charlie's Mom tells him she has cancer. The gang tries to help her out, each in their own way. Meanwhile, Frank thinks his mind may be slipping.

  • Frank's Back in Business
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: November 29, 2012

    With Charlie under his wing, Frank cleans up so he can get his hands dirty and help out his old company with one last big merger. While an unwritten rule of the bar gets the rest of the gang caught up in a case of mistaken identity.

  • Charlie Rules the World
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: December 6, 2012

    The gang starts playing an online video game and Charlie becomes obsessed with becoming the best player in the game. Meanwhile, Dennis is upset everyone else is playing the game all the time and not out enjoying the real world.

  • The Gang Dines Out
    Written by: Mehar Sethi
    Original Air Date: December 13, 2012

    The gang turns up at the same restaurant for dinner at three different tables. They pretend not to notice they noticed they are noticing each other. Then the one-upmanship begins.

  • Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: December 20, 2012

    When Frank accidentally hits Dennis's car while Dennis is eating cereal, Frank and Dennis go to the Paddy's Pub court to face off on who will pay for the damages.

  • The Gang Broke Dee
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 4, 2013

    Dee embraces the desperate, self-loathing qualities the guys have beaten her into over the years, sending her stand-up comedy to unexpected places.

  • Gun Fever Too: Still Hot
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: September 11, 2013

    After Frank appears on TV advocating gun ownership, the rest of the gang takes a look at the ownership process and alternatives to find common ground.

  • The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: September 18, 2013

    The gang attempts to win the award for Philidelphia's Best Bar.

  • Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: September 25, 2013

    After making some very questionable investment choices, the gang try to dump their losses on Ben The Soldier while they look for the man who is pulling their strings.

  • Mac Day
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: October 2, 2013

    Each member of the gang gets one day to do whatever they want while the rest of the gang must participate. This is Mac's day.

  • The Gang Saves the Day
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: October 9, 2013

    While making a beer run at a local convenience store, the gang witnesses a robbery taking place and each one comes up with a scenario that will save the day and render them heroes.

  • The Gang Gets Quarantined
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: October 16, 2013

    When a severe flu outbreak sweeps Philadelphia the gang voluntarily quarantine themselves inside of Paddy's.

  • Flowers for Charlie
    Written by: David Benioff & D. B. Weiss
    Original Air Date: October 23, 2013

    When an experiment successfully multiplies Charlie's intellect and takes him away from the bar, the rest of the gang find themselves struggling to complete the menial 'Charlie Work' that has kept the bar running for so long.

  • The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6
    Written by: Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: October 30, 2013

    Creative differences over what constitutes tasteful nudity cause Frank to pull his money out of Lethal Weapon 6 during filming.

  • The Gang Squashes Their Beefs
    Written by: Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: November 6, 2013

    When some bad blood with old foes compromises their ideal Thanksgiving, the gang decides to make amends by breaking bread with those they've hurt.

  • The Gang Beats Boggs
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: January 14, 2015

    The gang try to beat a record set by Wade Boggs of 70 beers on a cross-country flight.

  • The Gang Group Dates
    Written by: Rob Rosell
    Original Air Date: January 21, 2015

    The gang decides to start a group dating service at Paddy's.

  • Psycho Pete Returns
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: January 28, 2015

    Mac and Charlie are excited for the return of their old high school friend, Pete, while the rest of the gang fears for his psychotic behavior.

  • Charlie Work
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: February 4, 2015

    Charlie is determined to make sure Paddy's Pub passes its health inspection.

  • The Gang Spies Like U.S.
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: February 11, 2015

    When Dennis and Mac send Dee to spy on the fish factory across the street, Frank and Charlie become suspicious themselves.

  • The Gang Misses the Boat
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: February 18, 2015

    The gang decides to spend some time apart in order to find out who they really are.

  • Mac Kills His Dad
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin and David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: February 25, 2015

    After Mac's dad is suspected of murder, Mac sets out to clear his father of any wrong doing.

  • The Gang Goes on Family Fight
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: March 4, 2015

    When the gang appears on a nationally broadcast game show, Dennis does his best to make a good impression.

  • Frank Retires
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: March 11, 2015

    When Frank decides to retire, the gang fights over who gets to be in charge of the bar.

  • Ass Kickers United: Mac and Charlie Join a Cult
    Written by: Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: March 18, 2015

    Mac and Charlie become brainwashed by a cult.

  • Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: January 6, 2016

    The foursome demonstrate Chardee MacDennis for an interested board game executive.

  • Frank Falls Out the Window
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: January 13, 2016

    After falling out of the window, Frank thinks that it's 2006; the others see this as a do-over.

  • The Gang Hits the Slopes
    Written by: Dave Chernin & John Chernin
    Original Air Date: January 20, 2016

    Dennis and Frank square off against Dee and Mac for control of the mountain, while Charlie learns that the slopes have their own set of rules.

  • Dee Made a Smut Film
    Written by: Eric Ledgin
    Original Air Date: January 27, 2016

    The Gang debates modern art after seeing Dee in a smut film; Mac and Charlie enlist the help of Frank and Cricket in order to prove that modern art is worthless, whilst Dee and Dennis adapt his erotic memoirs to prove that it isn't.

  • Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs
    Written by: Hunter Covington
    Original Air Date: February 3, 2016

    Dennis and Mac head to the suburbs for cheap rent and open spaces but quickly find out that they are meant for city life.

  • Being Frank
    Written by: Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: February 10, 2016

    A day in the life of Frank Reynolds as he tries to keep up with the gang's newest scheme.

  • McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century
    Written by: Conor Galvin
    Original Air Date: February 17, 2016

    Liam McPoyle teams up with the lawyer to sue Bill Ponderosa for his lost eye; old grievances resurface.

  • Charlie Catches a Leprechaun
    Written by: Jon Silberman & Josh Silberman
    Original Air Date: February 24, 2016

    Dennis tries to create an innovative mobile Paddy's pub experience but runs into trouble when customers refuse to cooperate, while Charlie and Mac attempt to catch a thieving leprechaun.

  • The Gang Goes to Hell
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: March 2, 2016

    The gang board a Christian cruise liner under upon Mac's request, to soon find out that it does not cater to their sinful ways.

  • The Gang Goes to Hell: Part Two
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: March 9, 2016

    The gang gets real with one another in the face of death.

  • The Gang Turns Black
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: January 4, 2017

    After an electric heating blanket shorts out while the gang watches The Wiz they look in the mirror and realize they've turned black.

  • The Gang Goes to a Water Park
    Written by: Eric Ledgin
    Original Air Date: January 11, 2017

    The gang takes a trip to a local waterpark, ripe with personal agendas and ulterior motives.

  • Old Lady House: A Situation Comedy
    Written by: Dannah Phirman & Danielle Schneider
    Original Air Date: January 18, 2017

    The gang installs spy cameras in Mrs. Kelly and Mrs. Mac's house, to soon realise that the footage would make for a successful sitcom.

  • Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Nightmare
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: January 25, 2017

    Franks Fluids LLC is in big trouble after a news segment shows Wolf Cola has become the official drink of Boko Haram.

  • Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer
    Written by: Conor Galvin
    Original Air Date: February 1, 2017

    An episode filmed in the true crime style of Making a Murderer and The Jinx which begins with 911 call: A cat-woman formerly known as Maureen Ponderosa has been found dead in an alley and Dennis is the prime suspect.

  • Hero or Hate Crime?
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: February 8, 2017

    The gang go to a professional arbitrator to decide who's the rightful owner of a scratch off lottery ticket.

  • PTSDee
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: February 15, 2017

    After finding out she's a male stripper's "rock bottom," Dee goes on a mission to prove she's the best thing that ever happened to him. Dennis takes over for the stripper with the help of his bag boy, Charlie.

  • The Gang Tends Bar
    Written by: Megan Ganz
    Original Air Date: February 22, 2017

    It's Valentine's Day and Paddy's is packed with customers. Dennis implores the gang to do one day of actual work but everyone else is distracted by a mystery crate Cricket spotted in the alley.

  • A Cricket's Tale
    Written by: David Hornsby & Scott Marder
    Original Air Date: March 1, 2017

    A typical day in the life of Cricket, with possible redemption when his family intervenes.

  • Dennis' Double Life
    Written by: Charlie Day & Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney
    Original Air Date: March 8, 2017

    Dennis reveals that he has a baby from his layover time in North Dakota and everyone offers solutions to the problem, but in the end, Dennis must decide which life to continue to lead.

  • The Gang Makes Paddy's Great Again
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: September 5, 2018

    Meet Cindy, the new, ethnically diverse female member of the gang who can successfully pull off scams. Everything is working until Mac introduces a new member: a life-like sex doll that looks exactly like Dennis.

  • The Gang Escapes
    Written by: Megan Ganz
    Original Air Date: September 12, 2018

    When Mac and Dennis are looking to boost productivity around their apartment, Sweet Dee hires an "escape room experience" service.

  • The Gang Beats Boggs: Ladies' Reboot
    Written by: Dannah Phirman & Danielle Schneider
    Original Air Date: September 19, 2018

    For a chance to get one over on the guys, Dee joins an all-female flight with Artemis, the Waitress, Charlie's mom, and Mac's mom to beat the Wade Boggs 'drinking whilst on a flight' record.

  • Time's Up for the Gang
    Written by: Megan Ganz
    Original Air Date: September 26, 2018

    Paddy's has been put on a list of bars that are sexually hostile to women, so the gang must attend a sexual-harassment seminar in order to get off the list.

  • The Gang Gets New Wheels
    Written by: Conor Galvin
    Original Air Date: October 3, 2018

    Dee gets in with a group of cool, rich housewives. Dennis hits it off with some everyday blue-collar bros. Frank struggles to renew his license, and Charlie and Mac deal with a new generation of bicycle bullies.

  • The Gang Solves the Bathroom Problem
    Written by: Erin Ryan
    Original Air Date: October 10, 2018

    Jimmy Buffett is in town and the positive vibes are alive at the bar. However, when Mac comes out of the women's bathroom, no one can leave until the bathroom situation is solved.

  • The Gang Does a Clip Show
    Written by: Dannah Phirman & Danielle Schneider
    Original Air Date: October 17, 2018

    With nothing to do while their phones update to the latest software, the gang decides to reminisce on old times; as everyone misremembers events from their past, the gang's current reality becomes altered.

  • Charlie's Home Alone
    Written by: Adam Weinstock & Andy Jones
    Original Air Date: October 24, 2018

    It's the weekend of Super Bowl LII from Charlie's perspective. While Charlie searches the back office, Cricket steals the suit leaving Charlie home alone to defend himself.

  • The Gang Wins the Big Game
    Written by: Conor Galvin
    Original Air Date: October 31, 2018

    It's the most important weekend of their lives and Frank has treated the gang and a crew of their ragtag hangers-on with tickets to see the Eagles in the Super Bowl!

  • Mac Finds His Pride
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: November 7, 2018

    Frank tries to recruit Mac for the gang's float for the Gay Pride Parade; Frank comes to the realization that Mac will never be secure with his sexual identity unless he comes out to his father.

  • The Gang Gets Romantic
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: September 25, 2019

    Mac concocts a scheme to attract single women to rent Dennis's bedroom while Frank and Charlie make similar plans to draw in young European coeds, but neither ad attracts their intended target.

  • Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool
    Written by: Conor Galvin
    Original Air Date: October 2, 2019

    The Gang finds themselves in the middle of a focus group after a screening of Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool.

  • Dee Day
    Written by: Megan Ganz
    Original Air Date: October 9, 2019

    The guys are in the final preparation stage for an unknown scheme when Dee excitedly enters to inform them that today is "Dee Day" and the guys must do everything she wants without complaint.

  • The Gang Chokes
    Written by: John Howell Harris
    Original Air Date: October 16, 2019

    Annoyed that the Gang failed to react as he nearly choked to death on an appetizer, Frank decides the Waiter, his savior, is the only person who has his back.

  • The Gang Texts
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: October 23, 2019

    During their trip to the Philadelphia Zoo, Mac sets up a group text for The Gang that leads to confusion.

  • The Janitor Always Mops Twice
    Written by: Megan Ganz
    Original Air Date: October 30, 2019

    In the black-and-white noir world of his memory, Charlie navigates the seedy underbelly of Philadelphia as Frank has been "diarrhea poisoned," and it's up to Charlie to clean up the mess.

  • The Gang Solves Global Warming
    Written by: Rob McElhenney & Charlie Day
    Original Air Date: November 6, 2019

    As a record-breaking heat wave overtakes Philly, the Gang plans to profit from global warming by pumping up the A/C so people will congregate at Paddy's and save energy at home.

  • Paddy's Has a Jumper
    Written by: Dannah Phirman & Danielle Schneider
    Original Air Date: November 13, 2019

    While a suicidal man threatens to jump off Paddy's pub, the gang wonders whether they should help the poor man or let him fall to his death.

  • A Woman's Right to Chop
    Written by: Dannah Phirman & Danielle Schneider
    Original Air Date: November 20, 2019

    When a trendy new hair salon opens up near Paddy's, Dennis and Frank go on the offensive to stop women from cutting off their hair. Meanwhile, Mac is reunited with his childhood dog, Poppins.

  • Waiting for Big Mo
    Written by: David Hornsby
    Original Air Date: November 20, 2019

    Dennis and Charlie stand guard at the entrance to their laser tag base waiting to ambush the legendary "Big Mo," but Dennis begins to ponder the reasons they play laser tag and if their pursuit of a victory is worth their effort.


Songs

Much like his character, Charlie Kelly, having written numerous songs on the show, Day had a real-life hand in writing the songs his character wrote.

Songs written by Charlie Kelly:

Nightman, sneaky and mean
Spider inside my dreams, I think I love you
You make me wanna cry
You make me wanna die
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you, Nightman
Every night you come into my room
And pin me down
With your strong arms
You pin me down
And I try to fight you
You come inside me
You fill me up and I become the Nightman
It's just two men sharing the night
It might seem wrong
But it's just right!
It's just two men sharing each other
It's just two men like loving brothers
One on top and one on bottom
One inside and one is out
One is screaming he's so happy
The other's screaming a passionate shout
It's the Nightman
The feelings so wrong and right, man
They're feeling so wrong and right, man
I can't fight you, man
When you come inside me
And pin me down with your strong hands
And I become The Night
The passionly passionate Nightman

They took you, Nightman
And you don't belong to them
They left me in a world of darkness
Without your sexy hands
And I miss you Nightman, so bad...

The Princess
What is this strange feeling?

Lead Boy
I feel so strange inside!

The Princess
It's so strange, but appealing!

Lead Boy
I feel... good. Oh!

The Princess
Tiny Boy
Little Boy
Baby Boy
I need you
Tiny Boy
Little Boy
I want to
Touch you, boy
I need you, boy
Tiny Boy
Little Boy
Baby Boy
I need you
Tiny Boy
Little Boy
Want to make
Love to you, boy
Boy, oh boy
Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
Oh boy

Lead Boy (sung over the Princess' refrain)
If you only knew
What I'd do to you
If I was that boy
That's inside of you!
If you only knew
What I'd do to you
If I was that boy
That's inside of you
Inside
Inside
Inside of my mind

The Princess and Lead Boy
Oh boy!

Troll
You came at the right time!

The Nightman
Is he sleeping?

Troll
Yeah! He's sleeping right over there! Just the way you like 'em! Did you bring the toll?

The Nightman
Confound your lousy toll, troll!

Troll
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
If you wanna get into that boy's soul
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
To get in!
You want the baby boy's soul
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
To get in!
Troll Toll!

Lead Boy
What'd you say?!

Troll
Troll Toll!

The Nightman
Hey, hey, hey!

Troll
Troll Toll

The Nightman
Here's your toll, troll!

Troll
Your boy awaits!

The Nightman
At last the boy's soul is mine!

Dayman (ah-ah-ah)
Fighter of the Nightman (ah-ah-ah)
Champion of the Sun! (ah-ah-ah)
You're a Master of Karate
And Friendship
For Everyone

I was that little boy,
That little baby boy was me.
I once was a boy,
but now I am a man.

I fought The Nightman, lived as Dayman,
now I'm here to ask for your hand,
so if you want to marry men,
will you marry me?

Will you come on stage and join me,
in this thing called matrimony?
Please say yes and do not bone me.
Please just marry me!

Charlie
Magic's in the air

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Magic's in the air...

Charlie
Lace and silk is everywhere...

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Lace and silk...

Charlie
Struttin' with dramatic flair...

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Dramatic flair...

Charlie
And bright smiles...
So everyone prepare, for something special tonight...

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Here she is, Frank's Little Beauties...

Charlie
Your heart will go into a cardiac arrest
'Cause Frank's Little Beauties are nothing but...
From state to state, and town to town
These girls'll turn your frown upside-down!

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Uh-huh, uh-huh...

Charlie
Who's brass and class, and all that stuff?
These girls'll show you that they're good enough!

Dee, Dennis, and Mac
They're good, all right!

Charlie
So put your hands together and settle in
'Cause tonight we're gettin' down (get in town)
Only one contestant wins

Charlie, Dee, Dennis, and Mac
Frank's Little Beauties crown!

Charlie
Woah woah woah woah!

Oh, they say the world's your oyster,
Man, but oysters ain't for me
You're the belle of the ball
But you ain't my cup of tea
They always vote you Best in Show
But this doggie disagrees
'Cause I like life at Paddy's Pub...

There's a place for me
It's the place I go
Where the beer is cheap
And the lights are low
It's Paddy's Pub
I like Paddy's Pub
Let the record show
The greatest place to go
Is that bar called Paddy's Pub...
(harmonica solo)
I like life at Paddy's Pub

There's a spider (spider, spider)
He's deep in my soul (soul, soul)
He's lived here for years (years, years)
And he just won't let go
He's laying around
He's got a mean bite
Now he's ready to fight...
And stand up for what he knows...
I don't need your trophies or your gold
I just want to tell you all
Go f**k yourselves...
Go f**k yourselves...
Go f**k yourselves...

The Gang Turns Black

In season 12, It's Always Sunny had a musical episode titled "The Gang Turns Black." Unlike past songs sung on the show, the songs were not written by the characters as the episode took place inside a dream sequence. As you can see in the behind the scenes clip below, in real life, Day had a huge hand in the creation of these songs.

 
Because of Day's heavy involvement in the creation of the songs in the episode, all of the lyrics for the songs from the episode (not just the ones sung by his character) are below:

Charlie
Give me one good reason (woah-oh-oh-oh)
Give me one good reason why we're this way
I don't have a reason (woah-oh-oh-oh)
I don't have a reason for a thing that's happened today

Mac
I wonder why we're singing every word that we say
I wonder if we're living out "The Wiz" in some way!

Dennis
Well, no, it's not "The Wiz" because nobody switches bodies in "The Wiz"
It's gotta be something else
I mean, I think we're experiencing something a little more like

"The Hot Chick", "The Change Up"

Charlie
"Vice Versa", "All Of Me"

Dee
"Like Father Like Son"

Mac
"Dating the Enemy"

Dennis
A Boy Thing, A Girl Thing

Charlie
Thirteen on Thirty

Dee
"Detention"

Frank
"Face/Off"

Dennis
Right, uh, actually no, "Face/Off" wouldn't work because that's a face-switching movie

Dee
Yeah, no, guys, I think we've found ourselves in a quantum leap

Frank
What the hell's a quantum leap?

Dee
Oh, a great show from the coke-fueled era of 80s television where Scott Bakula would leap into other people's bodies but he didn't know it unless he saw his reflection

Charlie
These are not good reasons (woah-oh-oh-oh)
Now, I'm just confused and I don't know what the hell to say

Dennis
What are the rules?
Oh, Christ, I'm singing again
What are the rules?
When you've just turned black
And you can't switch back
Well you've gotta go and find out the rules


Dennis
What are the rules?

Charlie, Dee, Mac, Frank
What are the rules?

Dennis
What are the rules?

Charlie, Dee, Mac, Frank
What are the rules?

The Gang
When you've just turned black
And you can't switch back
Well you've gotta go and find out the rules

Mac
I think we're in "The Wiz"

Dennis
Don't force "The Wiz" thing

Frank
Let's make one thing perfectly clear
I'm gonna say some words down here
I haven't had the chance to say before

Dee
Where're you going with this, Frank?

Frank
I'm gonna say "homie"

Dee
Oh, come on

Frank
I'm gonna say "bro"

Dee
You serious?

Frank
I'm gonna say "my man"!

Dee
Well, now, you're just stereotyping!

Frank
I'm gonna say "fo' sho"
I'm gonna say the N-word!

Dee
No, no, no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
Thank you, no!


Dee
You're not one of them

Frank
Don't say "them"

Dee
No, that's not what I mean!

Frank
What do ya mean?

Dee
You're not one of us

Frank
That's just confusing!

Dee
Now, I'm getting lost!

Frank
We'll say N together

Dee
Not saying the N-word

Frank
We'll leave off the E-R

Dee
Not saying it that way
And that is the end
Not saying the N-word!

Charlie
Oh yeah, that's my gang

Social Worker
Wait, you're in a gang?

Charlie
Oh, not like a gang-gang, like a--
Oh, right, this must sound weird
All right, how can I explain this? Um...

Well, we hang in a bar
Where I like to clean the toilets
And I also kill the rats and get tanked
And I live in a walk-up
In some section-8 housing
Where I sleep with a man named Frank

Social Worker
You sleep with him?

Charlie
'Les he brings home a hooker
Then I sleep in the closet
Excuse me, can I make this train fly?

Social Worker
Sure. Is Frank your father?

Charlie
No, he's just some guy
That banged my mother
Like this guy, and the other
She's a hooker and it's sad
But I don't feel all that bad
Guess I'm just another black kid
Who doesn't know his dad
Guess we've got that in common, huh kid?
Oh, unless he knows his dad
Oh shoot, that was racist

Dennis
Dude, that could be--He probably does have priors! You prob--
No, see, no, let's not do that
Let's not go there, man

Let's not draw conclusions
They're only just illusions
Never, ever, ever just assume

Mac
Right!
The road is always two ways
And assumptions make bad through ways
Let's open up our hearts for much more room

Dennis
Yes!

Mac
Like maybe I'm a doctor!

Dennis
Maybe it's just that!
Or maybe I'm a French chef

Mac
And that's why you're so fat!

Dennis
Maybe you're a fireman

Mac
Saving people's lives

Mac & Dennis
Maybe we're just good men
With houses kids and wives

Dennis
Let's draw good conclusions

Mac
Let's make a better guess

Dennis
Let's hope we learned our lesson

Mac & Dennis
And just pray for the best

How did they know?

That my wife took it all

And I'm not researching roles

How did they know?

Ziggy, if you hear me

Take me far, far from here

Let me leap to '89

That was a better year

I miss my old Camaro

And my mansion in Van Nuys

Wish I still hung with Nash Bridges

Played poker with the Fall Guy

Oh, Ziggy, can you see my tears?

Ziggy! Leap me far, far from here

Dennis
What are the rules?
Ugh, here we go with this

Mac
What are the rules?

Mac & Dennis
When your race has changed
Life can be real strange
When you tryna figure out all the rules


Dennis
What are the rules?

Dee, Mac, Frank
What are the rules?

Dennis
What are the rules?

Dee, Mac, Frank
What are the rules?

Dennis
When you've kept your brain
But the world's insane
How the hell you gonna find out the rules?


The Gang
What are the rules?

Charlie
Of being black in America

The Gang
What are the rules?

Dee
Of leaping from your body

The Gang
What are the rules?

Frank
Who can say the N-word

The Gang
What are the rules?

Frank
I really wanna say the N-word!

The Gang
What are the rules?

Dennis
What are the rules?

Mac
Excuse me, my kind brother (ooh-ah)
But can you lend a hand? (ooh-ah)

Dee
We really are in trouble (ooh-ah)

Dennis
We really need a friend (ooh-ooh-ah)

Frank
We're trapped inside these bodies

The Gang
Trapped inside, we're trapped inside

Charlie
It's so hard to understand (ooh-ooh-ooh)

Mac
But if you look inside our souls, sir (ooh-ah)
You'll see that we're white men

Charlie
Maybe that's the lesson here
Things are not always that clear
We have a lot in common
But too much of it... is fear

So, here come those police again
But let me talk, 'cause they're my friends
They like me
They gave me this train

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank
We just learned our lesson

Charlie
Oh, oh, yeah!

Dennis
A horrible lesson

Charlie
Oh, yeah!

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank
We just learned our lesson
And we wanna go home

Dennis
Our home

Frank
White home!

Charlie, Dennis, Dee, Mac
Just say home!

The Gang
We really, really, wanna go home

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank
Let's click our heels together

Charlie
Oh, yeah!

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank
And pray we leave forever

Charlie
Oh, yeah!

The Gang
We just learned our lesson
And we wanna go home

Dennis
Our home

Frank
White home!

Charlie, Dennis, Dee, Mac
Just say home!

The Gang
We really, really, wanna go home

Charlie
Over the rainbow!

The Gang
I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna go home!
I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna go home!
I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna go home!
I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna go home!


The Nightman Cometh LIVE!

The Nightman Cometh Live was a live show of an extended version of the season 4 episode "The Nightman Cometh." It starred Day as Charlie Kelly, Rob McElhenney as Mac / Nightman, Glenn Howerton as Dennis / Dayman, Kaitlin Olson as Dee / The Princess, Danny DeVito as Frank / The Troll, Artemis Pebdani as Artemis, Mary-Elizabeth Ellis as The Waitress, and Rhea Perlman as Gladys. The September 25 show in Hollywood also included Jimmi Simpson and Nate Mooney as the McPoyles.

Initially, the show was supposed to be an opening act for the guys' friend, Don McCloskey, who was performing at The Troubadour in Los Angeles, CA in April 2009. When news spread of the Nightman Cometh Live show, the Troubadour sold out two nights. Five months later, the gang went on a multi-city tour to perform the show, alongside with showing fans an early view of the season 5 episode "The Gang Reignites the Rivalry."

The season 4 DVD includes a 50 minute video of the April 2009 performance.

Show Dates (2009):

  • April 17 - 18 at The Troubadour in Los Angeles, CA
  • September 15 at House of Blues in Boston, MA
  • September 16 at Beacon Theatre in New York City, NY
  • September 17 at Upper Darby's Tower Theater in Philadelphia, PA
  • September 22 at Moore Theatre in Seattle, WA
  • September 24 at Nob Hill Masonic Exhibition Hall in San Francisco, CA
  • September 25 at Hollywood Palladium in Los Angeles, CA

List of Episodes Written by Charlie Day

Day has hand in writing a handful of episodes along with Rob McElhenney and Glenn Howerton. These are the episodes he is credited for writing:

  • The Gang Gets Racist
  • Charlie Wants an Abortion
  • Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom
  • Hundred Dollar Baby
  • The Gang Gives Back
  • The Gang Exploits a Miracle
  • Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass
  • The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby
  • The Gang Gets Invincible
  • The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation
  • The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo
  • The Gang Sells Out
  • Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City
  • Mac and Dennis: Manhunters
  • The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
  • America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest
  • Mac & Charlie Die: Part 1
  • Mac & Charlie Die: Part 2
  • The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition
  • The Nightman Cometh
  • The Gang Hits the Road
  • The Waitress Is Getting Married
  • A Very Sunny Christmas
  • The Gang Reignites the Rivalry
  • The Gang Buys a Boat
  • Who Got Dee Pregnant?
  • Sweet Dee Gets Audited
  • CharDee MacDennis: The Game of Games
  • The ANTI-Social Network
  • Pop-Pop: The Final Solution
  • The Gang Recycles Their Trash
  • The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre
  • Charlie and Dee Find Love
  • Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense
  • The Gang Broke Dee
  • Gun Fever Too: Still Hot
  • Mac Day
  • Psycho Pete Returns
  • Charlie Work
  • The Gang Misses the Boat
  • The Gang Goes on Family Fight
  • Frank Retires
  • Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo
  • The Gang Turns Black
  • Hero or Hate Crime?
  • PTSDee
  • Dennis' Double Life
  • Mac Finds His Pride
  • The Gang Gets Romantic
  • The Gang Texts
  • The Gang Solves Global Warming